Death Eaters Meeting
by Major Dover111
Summary: Ever wonder what goes on in a secret meeting with Voldy and his death eaters?


Ever wonder what goes down at a Death Eaters meeting? Well luckily me and my crew were able to get some unseen footage.

This has never been released in the public...until now

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>(Scene: In Tom Riddles house, at the great table in the dining hall)<br>""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

*le gasp*

*Voldemort arrives, cloak billowing like a raven, looking murderous*

*le sits down at head of table*

*takes out wand*

**Voldemort:** "Hello...is this thing on... testing...testing?"

**Snape:** "Yes, my lord, we can hear you clearly"

**Voldemort:** "Even Carrow...he's way down at the other end of the table"

**Snape:** "Yes, my lord"

**Voldemort:** "Are you sure Severus...HEY AMYCUS CAN YOU HEAR ME?"

**Snape:** "HE CAN YOU HEAR MY LORD!"

**Voldemort:** "No need to yell Severus, I can hear you"

**Snape:** *le sigh*

**Voldemort:** So, let's begin shall we? We will start with Fenrir, any news?

**Greyback:** Uh...I ate a turkey sandwhich for lunch

**Voldemort:** "Excellent, Excellent...very impressed...how about you Bellatrix?"

**Bellatrix:** "Well, my lord, I killed three muggleborns, set fire to a muggle barn and captured some prisoners"

**Voldemort:** "...I'm very dissappointed in you Bella"

**Snape:** "If I may interject, my lord, Bella has been the most productive this week"

**Voldemort:** "Oh Snaperdoodle, I'm sure she has, but Fenrirs turkey sandwhich is much more impressive"

**Greyback:** "Thank you, my lord"

**Voldemort:** "Now, how about Lucius...any news to share?"

**Lucius:** "My lord, ...Draco is having problems with his wand"

**Voldemort:** "Has he tried Viagra...it works like magic"

**Lucius:** "Ah...no, not that KIND of wand, my lord, his actually wand"

**Greyback:** "Has he tried looking at Playboy?"

**Lucius:** "NOT THAT KIND OF WAND!"

**Bellatrix:** "I see someone started her period"

**Lucius:** "SHUT UP BELLA!"

**Voldemort:** "Please, please, let's be nice, I don't want to Avada Kedavra anyones' ass today"

**Snape:** "My lord, with my sincerest request, may we not use course language?"

**Yaxley:** "Fuck"

**Snape:** "I do not appreciate you mocking me Yaxley"

**Yaxley:** "I don't appreciate you being a twit"

**Lucius:** "Yaxley, it's very obvious your a homosexual"

**Voldemort:** "Really?"

**Lucius:** "Rookwood saw him at a local gay bar where he was scouting"

**Yaxley:**"Lies..filthy lies!"

**Voldemort:** "Well, we will let Yaxley deny his apparant homesexuality and go on to... Travers"

**Travers:** "Well, should I really be in this fanfiction...I mean I'm metioned in all seven books like two times"

**Snape:** "That's because no one likes you"

**Travers:** "Eat my wand Severus"

**Snape:** "I'll leave that to Yaxley"

**Yaxley:** "I'M NOT GAY!"

**Bellatrix:** "When you deny it your only hurting yourself"

**Wormtail:** "I like to pretend I'm flying through clouds and singing sweet melodies"

*le awkward silence*

**Voldemort:** "All right then...who's next?"

**Lucius:** "My lord, may I speak?"

**Voldemort:** "If you must, you silly hobo"

**Lucius:** "Well I know the muggleborns have caught on to some of our...what is it Yaxley?"

**Yaxley:** "How do you drown a blonde?"

**Lucius:** "Yaxley, we do not have time for jokes"

**Voldemort:** "No, let him continue, I'd like to hear it"

**Yaxley:** "Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool"

*le whole room burst into laughing*

**Lucius:** "I do not find that funny Yaxley"

**Snape:** "Lucius, are you even a natural blonde?"

**Lucius:** "I ...uh...how dare you..that...is...well"

**Draco:** "It isn't, he bleaches it"

**Lucius:** "Shut your dirty little mouth Draco"

**Travers: **"Or don't, Yaxley might enjoy it open"

**Voldemort:** "Oh, that was a good one Travers, I think I won't kill you tonight"

**Travers:** "Much appreciated, my lord"

**Snape:** "Bella, will you please stop clinging to me like a horny koala?"

**Bellatrix:** "Maybe if you would move your greasy head, I wouldn't have to be so close"

**Voldemort:** "On a different note, where is Rowle?"

**Snape:** "His wife contacted us saying he was asleep by his pool, it seemed he drank too much firewhiskey"

**Voldemort:** "Amateur"

**Snape:** "She also said he smoked some stuff only used for Nigerian spirit quests"

**Bellatrix:** "He won't be back for a week"

**Voldemort:** "So, is that all...can we conclude our top secret death eater meeting?"

**Snape:** "I believe so, my lord"

**Voldemort:** "Good, I need to go take a bubble bath"

*le voldemort exits*

**Snape:** "So Yaxley, you gonna go be homosexual tonight?"

**Yaxley:** "For the final time, I'm not gay"

**Whole Room of Death Eaters:** "Lol Ok"

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-End-


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